Another day-another disappointment
Ever have a day when it just seems like waking up was a waste of time? Lately it seems like I am wasting a lot of potentially good time under the sheets by getting up! I try to believe nothing is a waste, but this time I am beginning to think I am wrong. Me? Wrong? Never! So, the question I ask myself is why do days like this happen? Days that feel like I have wasted REM sleep on. Days that seem to do nothing but disappoint. What was the disappointment you ask? Me actually…
It takes a strong person to admit when they are wrong, but to admit they are the reason they feel the day was disappointing takes a person that is not only strong, but insane. Hmmm…maybe I am a little insane, but at this point I know I was root of my own disappointment. What was so disappointing?
I realized my knee jerk reaction to something someone had said, or what I thought they had said caused them a lot of heart ache. I emailed what I thought, but in a way that was perceived as down grading, hurtful, and unappreciative. It was of course all over email, so a lot got lost in translation. What I didn’t realize when I was sending my response was the lack of thought on my behalf before I wrote my feelings and sent them really caused some hurt feelings and I had to do a lot of back tracking after the fact. I realized when talking to the person that I really had hurt them, I had acted unappreciative, and really should have represented myself much better, as their efforts were such a sacrifice for me, that I had completely overlooked, and my demanding answers and being so rude was truly a disappointment to myself.
Nothing cut worse than those words growing up…”You really disappointed me.” It cut me to the core and still does. Not sure which is worse now, thinking I disappointed my parents or knowing I disappointed myself. No one likes to feel disappointment and I know I surely don’t want to cause it, especially to myself.
I learned something today, and I wanted to share it with everyone, as I am not afraid to share my shortcomings if it will help someone else to keep from doing the same thing. Actually, I already knew it, as my father used to tell me it as a little girl. “Always think before you speak. Count to ten before you respond. If it is something you are that passionate or emotional about, it is best to let some time pass, calm down, find a way to think straight before you reply or respond. ” This used to be great advice when our communication consisted of primarily talking, but now we have the age of technology where we communicate thru texting and email, so it is even all the more important to think things thru before responding, as with verbal communication you can express yourself, but with words on a screen, so much is lost to perception, which makes the situations all the worse.
So, today was another day of learning for me. Like I said in my last post, I learn something new everyday. It may not have been new today, but it was a great refresher course. I hope my refresher course can help someone not make the same mistake…..